The Tasks We Give Our Mates
Make a list of the chores you're waiting for your spouse to take care of. Now go down the list and ask yourself how you would take care of them while he or she is off in intensive care at the hospital.
Feel that shudder? Sense yourself pulling away, wondering how long you could let it go until your beloved is back on the job? Are you telling yourself you're not strong enough or skilled enough to tackle them yourself?
Most of us hand our mates the very jobs we don't know how to do or really don't like to do. And then we make ourselves miserable by concocting some story about fairness when it turns out they avoid the very same tasks we do. Or we get them to promise they will take care of them and blame them for breaking a promise when they find out what the tasks entail.
It turns out the fastest route to a happy marriage is to do those unpleasant chores, pay someone else to do them, or decide they don't need doing. If, instead, you choose to keep up your story that these are your life partner's chores, not yours, eventually the chores will revert to you anyway, but the love in your life--both the trickle that gets through while you're blaming your spouse and the flood when you're not--will be gone.