Want to be a better person or have a better marriage in 2012? Some fascinating research may help you succeed. It sounds too simple to be true, but several studies have come to this same conclusion: it works! Think about what usually gets in the way of what you resolve to do. Now write down some very specific if-then solutions to these distractions. For example, If we have not had sex for four...
I know some of you are celebrating Christmas today (me, too!) and some of you are not. I am so grateful for every single one of you, whatever you are doing with this day. Thank you for reading what I have to say about marriage. Thank you for giving me the chance to just maybe bring some extra depth or delight to your marriage. No snow this year, just a cold, sunny day. Like yesterday, when I...
You and your mother-in-law want the same thing. You want the best for the man or woman you married. You also want to feel loved by this same man or woman. Your relationship with this person goes sour when you disagree on what is best and believe only one of you can be right. And it makes you miserable when you believe your mate has only a little love to go around and you must compete for it. Want...
This is gift week for anyone who observes Christmas or Hanukkah. Time to give gifts and receive gifts. It is a week filled with joy, annoyance, and outrage. It is the thought that counts, sort of. The problem lies in whose thought counts. Recipients invent a story about the giver’s thoughts. If you are a recipient, and if your spouse is the giver, you might want to prepare yourself to...
The third step in finding Third Alternatives (after Jump the Net and Write New Specs) is to Brainstorm. A brainstorm lets you build on top of each other’s creativity to think of things that would never occur to either of you alone. Here are a few tips for better brainstorms: Set aside a block of time with no interruptions. Find a relaxed, non-distracting environment. Review your specs...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
