When you get married, pay close attention to all that is good and right about the person you choose. Pay close attention to the ways this wonderful man or woman makes you feel great about life, about love, and about yourself. Your new husband or wife will someday reveal weaknesses, envy, selfishness under stress. Those will be temporary. The goodness, the integrity, the honesty, the justice, the...
This one verse from Tony Arata’s song, a huge hit for Garth Brooks in 1990, says a lot about why I will always Expect Love and avoid defining how my marriage to Ed should unfold. And now I’m glad I didn’t know The way it all would end, the way it all would go Our lives are better left to chance—I could have missed the pain But I’d have had to miss the dance This is...
What do you remember most about when you first met your husband or wife? Other than the physical attraction, what impressed you? Was it his or her zest for living? Integrity? A great sense of humor? That love of learning? His or her leadership skills? Or sense of responsibility for the poor or the environment or the members of his or her team? Was it surprising creativity? Great kindness or...
Emotional abuse can do just as much harm as physical abuse. While anyone can hurt you physically, someone who knows you as well as your husband or wife does has a real advantage when it comes to doing emotional harm. What is emotional abuse? It is using whatever causes a person fear, anxiety, embarrassment, shame, or rage for the purpose of manipulating them. If you argue with your spouse to the...
Date nights can really help a couple with children or busy work schedules maintain the close and stimulating relationship of their dating days. To get the most benefit from a date night, schedule it in advance and create souvenirs while you enjoy it. Both give you more opportunities to savor your time together. And savoring helps it compete better with your negative thoughts about your marriage...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
