Sometimes, I don’t like my husband. When this happened in my first marriage, I would search around for all the other reasons not to like him. I would get a good grump going. But, as you know, waking up a widow changed my perspective. Now, when I don’t much like my second husband, I smile. I smile because I know the reason. I am frustrated, not getting something I expect from him...
Today is the fifth anniversary for a couple of great friends of mine. They are two of the most creative people I know. Each of them provides a boost to the other’s creative efforts. He is Matthew Cornell, a photo-realistic painter with a thing for stormy weather. He won first place in painting at the Saint Louis Art Fair in Clayton, MO, this year. That’s a big deal prize, in case...
A number of marriage therapists suggest couples pay attention to their marriage like a bank account. Don’t make a withdrawal if you have not made enough deposits. The intention is good. The score-keeping seems all wrong. And so does the idea of withdrawals. Is watching football when your wife wants to go furniture shopping together a withdrawal? Or is it just a conflict of interest better...
Alcohol abuse and alcoholism harm a lot of marriages. When we take those wedding vows, pledging to stick together in sickness or in health, do we also accept the drunken rages, lost wages, and self-inflicted depression? If staying and leaving were our only options, I would say no, we do not vow to accept all this harm. Fortunately, staying and leaving are usually not our only two options. Al...
I was so glad to receive a comment about yesterday’s post, wondering if I was injecting a bit of sarcasm. I was glad to receive it. I know this technique is a bit difficult to grasp. I welcome any opportunity to make it clearer, because I think it helps enormously. All by itself, and in just a few critical minutes, it can be the difference between divorce and renewed love for your spouse...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
