Not the Fairy Tale I Hoped For

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My husband does not often suggest subjects for this blog. However, when he read this quote from Kim Kardashian’s blog, he said, “You have to write about this.” And so I will.
About her very brief marriage to Kris Humphries, Kim Kardashian wrote:

It just didn’t turn out to be the fairy tale I had so badly hoped for.

Fairy tales entertain, and they teach. And still some folks see only the princess and the prince dressed in their finest outfits and the part about living happily ever after.
Cinderella: Happily ever after is not granted to the stepsisters who dressed the part, but to the one who works hard day after day and treats everyone kindly. Happily ever after was granted to the crown prince only after he put in the effort to track down the right woman, first by holding a ball and then by a house-to-house search that required getting on his knees over and over with an abandoned shoe.
Snow White: Happily ever after for her came after hiding out in the woods doing housework for a bunch of hard-working men, getting poisoned, and surviving a lengthy coma. For the prince, it came after hacking his way through thick undergrowth to rescue his bride.
Beauty and the Beast: Only virtuous people see the virtue in others. They end up in good marriages. Beauty’s sisters marry for good looks and wit and end up stone-hearted statues doomed to watch their sister live happily ever after. And, one presumes, their equally vain husbands don’t find their cold, hard statue wives all that enchanting, either.
Perhaps it turned out Kim married into a nightmare. Maybe she discovered the man she married has no capacity for love or empathy. Perhaps he posed a grave danger to her, thanks to an uncontrolled temper or addiction. If so, my heart goes out to her and I fully understand her desire for a divorce and admire her discretion in not broadcasting his flaws.
But it sounds like she really expected that putting on the princess dress for a day would result in every good thing she ever expected from her prince and more.
Cinderella, Snow White, and Little Beauty know that happily ever after comes from being able to see the best in your mate, being able to recognize love in all its forms, and being willing to be hard-working, flexible, and grateful. It does not come from demanding it as your right because you wore the fairy tale dress.

About the author

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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