3 Ways to Get Your Wife’s Respect

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Want more respect from the woman you married? These should help.

  1. Be you, at your best. Find more ways to use your greatest strengths (creativity, humility, generosity, gratitude, perseverance, curiosity, social intelligence, integrity, leadership, perspective, bravery, etc.) when you are with her.
  2. Show more affection. Without affection, women have a hard time paying attention to anything else. Let her know her respect matters because she matters so much to you. This may be hard to do when you feel disrespected. Do it anyway, because you’re not getting any respect by being distant or mean.
  3. Ask for it. Really. She has no idea how much you crave her respect. She does not need it the way you do. Because of this, you might need to explain it to her. Point out positive examples, not her failings.

You might think your wife has changed or that she never respected you to begin with. You might be wrong about this. Her cues have just changed. Change them back.

About the author

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

9 Comments

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  • These are very good tips. As a husband, I crave respect. When I’m not respected by my wife, I’m less confident. That second suggestion is something I’m working on in my own marriage–I’ve committed to committing an act of love for my wife every day for a year.

  • I made several mistakes during a one year period over seven years ago. Since I have been a model man and model father, she even gets ro stay home if she chooses. Now, after 7+ years I find out that she has NO respect for me and stated to a mutual friend that she will never respect me or feel strongly for me again. Btw, I DIDN’T cheat. I had a drug problem and was dishonest about it. I had an ’email fling’ during that period too. What do I do? It’s been 10 years and two kids later….
    Thanks

  • Drew, this is such a great question, one lots of people could benefit from. Instead of burying my answer here in the comments, I am going to make it my March 12, 2012 blog post later today.

  • Patty I want to thank you for the words of wisdom you bestowed upon me several years ago. Every thing you had mentioned, to a point came true.
    However, my wife and I are still trying to find that happiness and love. I am trying to win back her respect from something that I did that she had blocked out of her mind for years and finally surfaced the incident that cause her to be distant and unloving towards me.
    I love my wife,we have been together for over 12yrs and married for 3yrs. The incident happen a 1yr prior to us getting married there was some cheating on my part. We went to counseling and went through our marriage. Several years later we had some time apart. We eventually got back together, however it was not like I thought. Then recently she brought up the incident that I figure she blocked out in her mind.
    So now there is no affection from her. When I give her a hug and she reciprocate, it’s like she giving her male friends a hug.
    Lost in love

By Patty Newbold

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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