I recently read two recently published books about marital abuse, especially emotional abuse, and I recommend both of them. Unlike the many written by psychologists and marriage therapists, these are both written by women who have suffered such abuse. I have previously met the authors of both books, although not while they were enduring the abuse. They are wise, strong women and excellent writers...
I’m not sure why this never occurred to me when I was contemplating a divorce, so maybe it hasn’t occurred to you, either. If something’s missing in your marriage—romance, conversation, encouragement, quality time together, children, pleasant surprises, shared interests, help with errands or chores, physical touch, compliments, whatever—give some thought to this. How will get...
I thought today I might review some of the well-established basics for a healthy marriage. 1. No Terrorism Never, ever cause your spouse physical harm or fear to get your way. No choking, shooting, hitting, punching, pinching, imprisonment, abandonment, or destitution. And no threats of any of these, either. Everyone deserves to feel safe in their own home and in their marriage. 2. Avoid...
I received an interesting comment on my When Your Spouse Won’t Use Your Love Language post. So one spouse should just accept that their spouse is so self absorbed and narcissistic that they won’t treat them, they are supposedly in love with, the way they need to be treated. Oh, and don’t treat your spouse the way they are treating you. Stay in a marriage where you are being...
Respect is just as important as love for a healthy marriage, and maybe even more important. Contempt (the opposite of respect, reflected in eye-rolling, a wrinkled nose, or a “yeah, right”) is a clear sign your marriage is in trouble, according to John Gottman, one of the best-known relationship researchers. When Jennifer R. Frei and Philip R. Shaver at the University of California...
