The quality of a marriage is not so much the result of what our spouses do as how we see it. Imagine you’re married. A few nights ago, when your wife asked you about your favorite childhood gifts, you could remember none of them. What you remembered was the delicious pancake breakfast on the morning of every one of your birthdays. Those were special, you told your wife, a professional...
It seems to be a natural human instinct to turn the Golden Rule on its head and do unto others what we really did not like them doing to us. He left you waiting in a restaurant for 20 minutes? Surely he will straighten up and fly right if you show up late for the next thing he schedules. She rejects your foreplay? Just show her who’s boss by refusing to kiss her, hug her, or hold hands with...
You’re overwhelmed. You need help. And, of course, it seems only fair and right and loving that the person you married should provide that help. But it doesn’t happen. You invited both families to a holiday dinner, but nothing went right in the kitchen, and nothing’s set up yet in the dining room. You holler for a helping hand and get told that your loving mate is taking care of...
Women initiate more divorces than men do. The words “I’m leaving you” can be a complete shock, especially if you’ve been just coasting in your relationship. What should you do next? This depends on what you’re thinking. She can’t leave me! I won’t let her. If these are your first thoughts, you’re in a very dangerous spot, and your first step must be...
We have a new web design coming very soon, complete with all 15 years of Assume Love blog posts. I have added a search function and other goodies and made the site much easier to read on a smart phone or tablet. And if you are one of the hundreds of folks who subscribe by email, watch for an email in a few days from Patty Newbold, Assume Love Blog (newsletter @ enjoybeingmarried.com). It will be...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
