Tagthird alternative

Find a Third Alternative – Step Three


If you read yesterday’s post, you know that step one in finding a Third Alternative is to jump the net and step two is to write new specs. Now we are ready for step three. Step Three: Brainstorm! Sometimes, one of you can do the brainstorming on your own. You look at your new specs and ideas start popping. Suddenly, there it is. The Third Alternative, the one you will like as much as you...

Find a Third Alternative – Step Two


If you read yesterday’s post, you know that step one in finding a Third Alternative is to jump the net. Step Two: Write New Specs Those first two ideas, the ones you disagree about, can keep your thinking stuck. To find something else you both like as much begins with a list of specifications for making you happy. Your first two options won’t work as solutions, but they give you a...

3 Tips for a Much Happier Marriage


Seems about time to summarize what I learned when my first marriage died. I learned three really key things that help me enormously in my second marriage. They have also helped a lot of other husbands and wives rediscover the best parts of their marriages. When you find yourself distressed by something your mate does or fails to do, Assume Love. When you find yourself needing more than your...

Not Enough Sex? Look for a Third Alternative


It happens in a lot of marriages. One spouse starts saying no to sex so often that the other stops asking. Or, worse, that partner begins demanding, whining, or insulting. a huge turnoff that seldom leads to a blissful intimate moment. What’s the solution? Surely it is not the remedy doled out by a French judge this week, ruling that the uninterested spouse pay the other more than $14,000...

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Is Financial Irresponsibility Grounds for Divorce?


A reader asks how to help a newlywed friend. She’s paying the bills, keeping careful track, budgeting for every predictable expense. He’s running up unexpected bills, failing to warn her what they will owe this month or to turn over needed paperwork on time. And it’s drowning her in distress. Can this marriage be saved? Can she live with a man like this? Of course she can. How...

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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