When I get upset with my husband, I sometimes come to Assume Love to remember what I’m supposed to do about it. Here are two of the quotes I find very helpful. Twice now, I have been blessed to have love in my life. Love includes some side benefits that lighten the load of living, but when we specify which ones with our expectations, I’ve learned we drive away the love. [August 2006]...
I want you to have it. Wouldn’t you love to hear these words when you say what you want? So would your life partner. Instead we say other, less wonderful things: We don’t have the money. I can’t spare the time. You wouldn’t really like it. Too bad. You can’t have it. Dream on! But wouldn’t it feel great to be able to say it? To feel confident it is within our...
How did you do with yesterday’s challenge to solve a toothpaste cap disagreement? A Third Alternative is a solution to your disagreement that will make both of you feel respected, loved, and in control of what matters to you. You create shared specs for your Third Alternative. They include the outcomes each of you values from your initial alternatives. They protect both of you from anything...
UPDATE: It was as bad as expected (maybe worse, thanks to replaying the meanest two things said in each episode) and unfunny to boot. Tonight’s the night. Jerry Seinfeld’s new Marriage Ref show debuts right after the Olympics closing ceremonies. It’s the “Tell Me My Spouse is Awful” Game for others’ amusement. You know the game. Someone comes into the office or...
Writer, speaker, comedian Patty K and her guy Joe ran into one of those “what do we do now?” choices recently. She enthusiastically encouraged him to go after a dream of his only to find it landed her in her idea of a nightmarish lifestyle. Should Joe give up his dream? Should she tolerate being miserable? Did he have to choose between love and an unhappy companion? Did Patty have to...
