A news report that 98% of couples in the island nation of Singapore are satisfied with their marriages sent me to a remarkable website, Marriage Central. Singapore is home to 5 million people, making it a little smaller than the Philadelphia region where I live. They speak many languages, come from many parts of the globe, and practice many religions. And lots of them, apparently, reach out for...
Better communication seems to occur in less stressful marriages. But are you sure which one causes which? Those couples who communicate better experience less stress (as measured by cortisol in their saliva) while discussing a difficult topic. But when you give randomly selected couples a squirt of oxytocin nasal spray in a relationship lab, they communicate better than the couples who...
An awful lot of complaints about the men in our lives start the same: I expect my husband to pick up after himself. I expect him to at least remember when our anniversary is! I expect that when I cook, he does the dishes. I did not expect that once we married, he would kiss me only when he’s looking for sex. And I did not expect he would make such a fuss about visiting my family. I expect...
Let’s say you intended to stay home with your babies, but now your full-time job is the only way to pay the rent and buy the groceries. Or perhaps you have a burning passion to launch a business, but it is not practical right now, because you want to be available to get your mate to dialysis appointments. Or you are this close to a college degree, but you cannot register for courses next...
Lots of folks seem convinced the biggest cause of unhappy marriages is poor communication. They may be right, except that they try to solve the problem by saying more or demanding their mate answer their accusations. Say you start off with the wrong assumption. For example, you mistake grumpiness for criticism because, like so many of us, you’re expecting someone who promised to love you...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
