So many marriages go down the tubes because one spouse or the other feels taken advantage of. Sometimes, a spouse will keep quiet about it until he or she suddenly erupts. The rage that follows overwhelms any feelings or acts of love. Other spouses, often the children of who watched the spontaneous combustion of a doormat, attempt to even the score daily or hourly. They give orders or exact their...
Colon cancer patients, male and female, have a 14% lower risk of death if they are fortunate enough to be married when they get this awful diagnosis. This finding, from Penn State University’s College of Medicine and Brigham Young University, compares patients at the same stage of the disease. Married patients also were likely to be diagnosed at an earlier stage. Download my free Why Be...
So much of what we do in life has a goal. We convince ourselves we will be happy when we reach the goal. We work hard to get there for as long we believe the goal lies within our reach. When we no longer believe it does, some of us double down and look for a better route to the goal. The rest of us move on to a different goal. We pursue happiness. When we marry, we set the goal of loving each...
Sarah posted a comment this morning on my Should I Stay Married for the Kids? post with a really great question. Here is what Sarah wrote: I love the idea that “An expectation is a premeditated resentment”; it has me thinking. On one hand I think it is a great idea, but on the other hand I feel that if we should “Never settle for being a doormat” then we have to have...
Fear drives out love. That tense knot in your chest keeps your heart from melting when it should. Disagreements create fear, both fear of needing to give up being yourself to stay married and fear of losing the kindnesses, respect, shared moments, courage, and teamwork that marriage offers. Third Alternatives end the disagreement, end the fear, and let love flow. One of the best ways to stay in...
