One of the things Caryl Rusbult discovered about relationships is that the more both parties have invested in them, the less likely they are to end. What is your partner up to in which you could invest some time or money this week? What does your husband or wife need that you could provide? What could you do to help your life partner be braver and take the risk that makes the difference? And what...
It’s 42 years since my husband and I graduated from high school. I went to a fairly affluent and well-run high school in the northeast corner of NJ. He went to high school in an impoverished steel mill town in Pennsylvania that had the foresight to apply for and win a grant that gave him the ability to star in his own TV show every school day, doing stand-up comedy. Most of my date night...
Our brains are designed to notice what’s not as we expected. Why? So we will notice and pay attention to threats in our environment. This business of living in houses with locking doors and heat and a supply of food that keeps for weeks (unless a giant storm comes along and knocks out your power, that is) is all pretty new, and our brains haven’t yet caught up. Living with someone...
Do you ever find yourself wondering whether your husband, wife, or life partner appreciates your efforts ? Do you ever get angry, wanting some gratitude for all you do? Me, too. It’s human. And it’s manipulative. And it has a funny boomerang effect of making it harder to appreciate you. If you feel underappreciated, do less. Free yourself to be loved and appreciated for who you are...
What if you could have the marriage you really want? What would it be like? How would you feel? What could the two of you create together? How willing would you be to give your all for such a union? How much of what you’re trying to change in your current marriage would actually take you there? In the marriage you really want, is it necessary to keep score on who took care of which chores...
