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How to Have More Interesting Dinner Conversations


Dinner with your spouse is a great time to deepen your connection. Here are some tips for making those conversations more engaging. Respond positively whenever your spouse seeks your attention the rest of the day through comments like “Look at that bird!” (“Ooh, wow” is plenty, as long as you look in the bird’s direction) or “I can’t find my keys”...

Why Our Expectations Are So High


In a comment on my last post, The Easiest Way to a Happier Marriage, Clover asked a great question: I agree that we shouldn’t expect our partners to act exactly the way we want them to – they’re not robots. And no one really owes us anything.But sometimes it’s really hard to maintain this mindset. With my friends and family, I care about their feelings more than my own. For example, if they don’t...

The Easiest Way to a Happier Marriage


The easiest way to a happier marriage does not include changing your spouse. Spouses are hard to change. Even when they know what you want from them, it can be hard for them to give it. Accusations about their failures to provide what you expect will get you defensiveness from all but the most self-aware spouses, because it’s a threat to their core relationship. Defensiveness is not pretty...

How About a Retreat?


If you are looking for a way to reconnect with your husband or wife, this GoodTrade article has some ideas on where to do it. They list five top resorts for couples retreats. Here is their list: The Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California, for couples looking for workshops on relationship skills or personal transformation. You’ll find lots of choices in lodging types and workshops, and the...

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When Your Spouse Has an Affair


Having an affair is so common that the vocabulary of most languages has a name for it. Even so, it usually induces rage or despondency when the other spouse learns of it, except in those rare consensually open or polyamorous marriages. But what do you do when that rage or despondency is yours? First, acknowledge this as a severe breach of trust and of your marriage vows or at least the default...

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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