Last night’s cold rain kept most sane folks at home, but we needed food. Neither of us felt motivated to do it solo, so Ed and I went to the supermarket together. We shopped efficiently. He kept us moving briskly. I made sure we didn’t miss any staples or overlook a buy one get one offer on anything we bought. We each got only half as wet loading the bags into the car and carrying...
Why Be Married? For Love
I’m reading a history of marriage this week. Over the years, people have married to grow their labor force, to give another clan a reason not to attack them, to hold onto wealth, and many other reasons other than love. Even today in the Indian state my daughter-in-law comes from, love ranks as one of the most inappropriate reasons to marry. But here in the United States, it’s the...
Why Be Married? For the Lows and the Highs
A friend’s mother died last week. An only child, he would have been alone in sitting with her as she slipped away and in dealing with her death. But he wasn’t. He’s married to a wonderful woman who provided help and love during all of it. Being married softens the blow of our low points. It also enhances our high points. Last week, my husband, Ed, celebrated his birthday by...
Why Be Married? For Mother’s Day
I had a great Mother’s Day weekend. Mom came for four days. My son and daughter-in-law came for an evening. Five friends joined us for brunch on Sunday, before we headed off to an outdoor festival. But it was my husband Ed that I noticed most. We have a small, efficient kitchen for one, and we seldom try to cook together. But that’s what we did for Sunday brunch. We know what sets...
Why Be Married? For Your Kids and Grandkids
Dr. Norval Glenn, sociologist at The University of Texas at Austin, with Elizabeth Marquardt, recently surveyed 1,500 18 to 35 year olds and interviewed another 70 in depth. Half were children of divorce, half were not. No more than a third had their lives improved by their parents’ divorce. Norval reports, “if there is violence or extreme conflict, or if the marriage is so bad it...