Why Be Married? For Love

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I’m reading a history of marriage this week. Over the years, people have married to grow their labor force, to give another clan a reason not to attack them, to hold onto wealth, and many other reasons other than love. Even today in the Indian state my daughter-in-law comes from, love ranks as one of the most inappropriate reasons to marry.
But here in the United States, it’s the reason. Few of us live in an extended family overflowing with love or willing to share their wealth or strength. We seek love. We want to give it and we want it reciprocated. As those of us who’ve been single after 30 know, we’ll do the most ridiculous things to find love. The craving for love is in our genes.
On Thanksgiving this year, I gave thanks for the husband who loves me, the daughter-in-law who loves my son, and the father who loved my mother. Since I learned to Assume Love and gave up my “if you loved me” yardsticks (OK, most of them), life seems like one giant sunrise.
And to Mike Fitzpatrick, if you’re reading this, when you publicly announced “I love my wife” at Thanksgiving dinner, you made my day.

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Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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By Patty Newbold

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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