Do you know your spouse’s main Love Language? If so, remember to use these two words often. Quality Time – “I’m available.” Keep time free in your year, your month, your week, and your day. Make sure it’s truly free: no phone calls, checking your phone, running errands, zoning out, nothing but whatever it is that the most important person in your life wants to...
What if other people find it easier than you to be married “for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health,” just because the first couple years of their lives were different from yours? “I’ve got your back” sounds reassuring to the majority of people. And not too much to ask in return. They have what we call a Secure Attachment Style. They...
If you don’t want to drift apart or discover you’re only communicating about kids and car maintenance, it’s a good idea to schedule dates with your spouse. Make those dates even better using Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages. All five are good for sustaining marriages. One or two of them are so important to your spouse that skipping them leaves an empty feeling. So...
I have written before about how few marriage skills I acquired from growing up with my parents, who were staying together only for the benefit of us kids. Today I want to speak in praise and even awe about my son and daughter-in-law. Theirs is a cross-cultural marriage lived in three very different countries, and they’ve been going strong for 22 years already. Her parents are in an arranged...
Marriage offers some great feelings, not the least of which is orgasm. But there is one even more fabulous feeling. It’s that feeling when you are overwhelmed with admiration, awe, caring, kindness, and gratitude for another human. Your vagus nerve warms your chest. Your eyes widen. Your face softens. All of your selfishness washes away, and you are filled with altruistic thoughts. A...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
