It happens in a lot of marriages. One spouse starts saying no to sex so often that the other stops asking. Or, worse, that partner begins demanding, whining, or insulting. a huge turnoff that seldom leads to a blissful intimate moment. What’s the solution? Surely it is not the remedy doled out by a French judge this week, ruling that the uninterested spouse pay the other more than $14,000...
You ask for something. Your husband or wife says no or asks for something different. This is a disagreement. A disagreement may actually be a good thing. So what turns a disagreement into a fight? You demand, pout, withdraw affection, insinuate, or put forth perfectly rational arguments that result in your mate demaning, pouting, insinuating or taking up sides against you in a debate. Unless the...
I received a comment today on this blog from JS, who is looking to put some romance back in his or her marriage. Like so many of us, they have fallen into parents-instead-of-lovers mode. For their anniversary, JS arranged a romantic weekend without the kids at a hotel and spa she likes, but it backfired. She did not like being surprised. She claimed to be ill and refused to go, then went shopping...
You have a disagreement with your spouse or life partner. You want one thing. We will call it Alternative 1. Your mate wants something else. Because I am a stickler for symmetry, we will call it Alternative 2. Alternatives 1 and 2 For example, Alternative 1 might be the toilet paper you grew up with and Alternative 2 might be a new, greener brand your husband or wife prefers. If you two choose...
Becky Blanton posted this comment on Facebook in reply to my Love and Fear post, and I want everyone to see the answer, because it’s such a great question. I wanted Mexican, my friend wanted Chinese. Using your Third Alternatives I suggested getting take-out at both and having a picnic. My friend pouted and insisted on Chinese or nothing at all. I’ve since dumped selfish, annoying...
