This blog gets cross-posted in my Facebook Notes, where I was asked an interesting question this morning (well, morning for me, afternoon for David, who asked): Hey Patty, I get Assume Love, but what about expect love. Isn’t that the opposite? Assume love is taking the onus on yourself while expect love is waiting for someone else to give it. Or am I reading too much into this? This is such...
In tonight’s Enjoy Being Married teleclass, I’ll be talking about how to get more of your needs met (without cheating). Key to this is knowing what’s reasonable to expect from your husband or wife and what’s not. Here are ten things you should not expect: Vacations that involve being in a bass boat at dawn Weekly tile grout scrubbing Even one foot rub A clean diaper on the...
A lucky few grow up able to see what love is and how their parents love each other, growing better at it every year. But most of us don’t. We go into marriage with something like the Foreigner song lyric lurking in our heads: “I wanna know what love is; I want you to show me.” We meet a good man or woman, discover love, and marry. At first, we’re fine. We feel so loved. We...
When you’re upset about any other part of life with your husband, wife, or life partner, it’s likely you will start noticing your differences, too. How compatible do you need to be to keep the relationship going? Compatibility has two sides: propriety and enthusiasms. Marry someone whose ideas of what’s proper and what’s not differ wildly from yours and you’ll...
I heard today from yet another woman who found herself with a long list of unmet needs, divorced, and then found herself in the same position all over again after a few years with her next partner. It would be very easy in this position to conclude men are to blame, and they’re all alike. Some of the others I’ve known who reached this point decided after two rounds of this to live...
