Someone asked me recently for marriage tips. Here are mine, in a nutshell:
Assume Love when upset, Expect Love when disappointed, Look for Third Alternatives in a dispute.
These three things will make any marriage more enjoyable.
Marriage Tips
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Happy Anniversary
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Today marks the anniversary of the day Ed and I married. With each year, our lives have been woven more tightly together. We’ve shared some incredible high points and held each other close through some very difficult moments. We’ve watched each other grow as individuals and ourselves grow as a couple. It is this complexity, this richness, this history that I missed when my first...
What to Expect When in Marriage
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Before the wedding, we say we don’t know exactly what to expect from marriage. We lie. It’s not even a year before most utter the words, “If you loved me…” or “If he loved me…” or “Why can’t she…” We know what we expect, and it is a disappointment when it’s not what we get. Picture yourself planning a garden tour. You...
Gone Boating
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On a beautiful summer afternoon like this one, I recall the pleasures of boating. I want to get out on the water. My husband does not. Am I being cheated? Is there something wrong with my marriage? Not at all. We promised to love each other “in sickness and in health,” not “by boat and by bicycle.” Our marriage is just fine. He’s a handy companion, and I love...
Marriage and the Risk of Divorce
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Five years from now, you will be a different person. You will have different interests, different tastes, different challenges. Date, live together, avoid commitment, and you’ll be free to move on to a partner who shares your new interests, matches your new tastes, helps with your new challenges. That’s the choice of many who were exposed to unhappy marriages or divorce while growing...
