An awful lot of complaints about the men in our lives start the same: I expect my husband to pick up after himself. I expect him to at least remember when our anniversary is! I expect that when I cook, he does the dishes. I did not expect that once we married, he would kiss me only when he’s looking for sex. And I did not expect he would make such a fuss about visiting my family. I expect...
“The kids are grown. They have their own car. One’s in college. The other is going next year. Why don’t you get a job? We could really use the money.” “I want to. But not just any job. I can’t go back to what I was doing. I need coworkers I can stand being around. And I need to keep doing something meaningful. I am not sure I could stand working in an insurance...
What you expect from your marriage has a lot to do with how much you will enjoy it. Expect your personal mind-picture of the perfect marriage and find yourself frequently and sorely disappointed. Expect “growth” from the person you actually married into the person you think your mate could become and find yourself in a non-stop battle. Expect supportive words from a gift-giver, acts...
Happy Valentine’s Day, and thank you for this fourth anniversary of the Asssume Love blog. It wouldn’t be any fun at all without you. If you’ve been lurking, I hope you will say hi in the comments on this anniversary of ours. Today’s topic is, of course, romance. When it gets this much advertising, this much aisle space in almost every store, you would think every husband...
Prescription for an Unhappy Marriage
Keep checking if you are loved, if you are respected
Keep checking whether you are getting all you expected
Prescription for a Happy Marriage
Keep checking if you are overlooking loving acts or signs of respect
Keep checking whether you are getting goodness you never expected
Simple, no?
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
