CategoryHow to Assume Love

When Only One Partner Assumes Love


My friend Tammy from Creating Success Stories sent me some questions this week about my advice to Assume Love. I’m going to answer one at a time. What do you suggest for a couple where only one partner is willing to “assume love”? This is the marvelous thing about assuming love — it doesn’t take two. One person can change the marriage. And this approach most benefits...

Receiving Love


Most relationship research, therapy, and coaching focuses on how to give love. It assumes if we give more love, more respect, more kind words, more of our undivided attention, more help, more nurturing, we will receive more in return. For most couples, this is true. However, giving more to get more can feel like work, hence the common wisdom that a good marriage requires hard work. Giving more...

Scheduling Spontaneity


Many men and women report that they miss the spontaneity of their dating years and even the early years of their marriages. But when they look for an explanation, they often come to the conclusion their spouse has changed or perhaps was faking an interest in spontaneity back then. When they assume love, they can see another possibility.

Assume Nothing?


Folks often advise us to assume nothing. Take nothing for granted. Keep your mind open. Prepare for every possibility. Don’t be disappointed when things don’t go the way you think they should go. Good advice. Except that life would be darn difficult without any assumptions. We’d need to be constantly on guard against danger if we couldn’t assume what looks like a chair...

For marriage book reviews and books by Patty Newbold, the author of Assume Love, visit:

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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