Any stressful event, like moving, a child’s illness, or a visit from relatives you don’t both adore, provides plenty of opportunities for getting angry at your mate or sulking in resentment. “Where are my keys?” you roar. Your partner sits in silence, unmoved. You expected help finding them. You’re late, and you’re under incredible stress, and a little help...
Tit for tat may make you happier for the moment, but always at the expense of your relationship. Falling in love made your heart sing, not because of what your beloved offered you, but because it made you want to offer so much more.
Happy Valentine’s day! Be generous.
And thanks for three great years so far. Here’s a post from that first Valentine’s Day in 2006.
Want to hear more about how to Assume Love, Expect Love, and Find Third Alternatives? Listen to this podcast, in which I was interviewed by Lee Rosen of Stay Happily Married.
Hats off to Lee for doing so much to discourage business for his North Carolina divorce law practice, and for being a great interviewer.
Rachel Cornell wrote a powerful blog post last week for the wives, husbands, parents, and friends of disabled war vets. A blind artist, author, and speaker, Rachel gets it. When your limb, your vision, your range of motion, or half your intestines are gone, you don’t “put your life back together again” — you build a new life. You don’t “get things back to...
I was asked on Twitter this morning by author Susan Kuhn Frost how to talk to your spouse about money. It’s a great question. In a word: gently. Prepare yourself for the discussion by counting your blessings. When we feel any lack of resources tightening its grip on us, it’s so tempting to pass the fears off to someone else, instead of laying them to rest. But do you really want to...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
