This blog gets cross-posted in my Facebook Notes, where I was asked an interesting question this morning (well, morning for me, afternoon for David, who asked): Hey Patty, I get Assume Love, but what about expect love. Isn’t that the opposite? Assume love is taking the onus on yourself while expect love is waiting for someone else to give it. Or am I reading too much into this? This is such...
My Husband Made Me Eat It is my new column for married folks trying to maintain weight loss, like me. It’s part of a fantastic web site filled with great tips and advice for anyone losing weight or keeping it off, SecondHelpingOnline.com. Check out recipes like Turkey Burgers Garnished with Chopped Roasted Shallot, Catalan Mushrooms, and Maple Molasses Chipotle Ketchup or easy-on-the...
A lucky few grow up able to see what love is and how their parents love each other, growing better at it every year. But most of us don’t. We go into marriage with something like the Foreigner song lyric lurking in our heads: “I wanna know what love is; I want you to show me.” We meet a good man or woman, discover love, and marry. At first, we’re fine. We feel so loved. We...
When you’re upset about any other part of life with your husband, wife, or life partner, it’s likely you will start noticing your differences, too. How compatible do you need to be to keep the relationship going? Compatibility has two sides: propriety and enthusiasms. Marry someone whose ideas of what’s proper and what’s not differ wildly from yours and you’ll...
“I don’t love you anymore.” Those are really tough words to hear. Laura A. Munson’s response to them is must-read stuff for anyone whose once-great marriage has hit a rocky patch in the road. Munson’s article in the NY Times is a great read. While she came to it down a different path, what she did is assume love. She asked herself why her husband would say those...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
