Emotional abuse is a serious problem in any marriage, whether you’re dishing it out or taking it. Dr. Steven Stosny developed a unique and highly effective way to help both the abusers and the abused. Until now, if you wanted to learn it, you had to get yourself to Maryland or hope he took his Boot Camp on the road to a city near you. I just received an announcement from him today of a Love...
Should Rihanna Forgive Chris Brown? Wrong Question
What I did not get until my first husband died is how difficult relationships can be when you ask the wrong questions about them. Should Rihanna forgive Chris Brown is one of those questions. It takes you to all the wrong places, hides the truth you need to succeed. Should she forgive him? It will probably make her life a lot happier to do so. Should she be alone with him again? A very different...
The Loving Perspective, Part 5
Yesterday, in Part 4 of this series on how to explain a loving spouse doing something that upsets you, I wrote: “I am not talking here about pushing, shoving, hitting, cutting, damaging something especially dear to you, making remarks known to bring you to tears or render you helpless, or repeating angry outbursts or making threats until you fear being in the same room as your mate.”...
Is Your Marriage Anyone Else’s Business?
This issue always comes up during election years, doesn’t it? Some of us find the news that a candidate left his wife for his mistress a bad sign. Others want to forgive it as a mistake or simply keep everything about a candidate’s personal life off-limits. I would argue, though, that marriages matter. They are not entirely private. They are not entirely our own business. Yes, we make...
The Stupidity of Cheating
Some folks cheat on their wife or their husband to put one over on them, to win at some game of deception. They might get more sex, but they lose intimacy. You cannot feel close to someone you treat as your opponent. You cannot feel known by someone you must lie to. You cannot have a close relationship and one on the side. Some folks cheat because they feel they deserve it. They continue to...