CategoryAbuse & cheating

The Problem with Affairs

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Let me set aside for the moment the obvious problem, that you promised yourself and your spouse, your family and friends, and perhaps even God you’d stay faithful. This seems to come up a lot more after the fall than while standing on the edge of the cliff contemplating letting an affair happen. No, the problem with affairs is that their temptation is so one dimensional. In a marriage, your...

Think an Affair Can Improve Your Marriage?

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The folks at Your Tango recently claimed Sometimes Cheating Can Actually HELP Your Marriage. But they offered no data suggesting it ever has done so. Instead, they referred to a 2009 blog post by Michael J. Formica, M.S., M.A., Ed.M., a board certified counselor in Pennsylvania. With no data at all, Formica mused that a person might improve his or her marriage by recognizing he or she was in or...

It Doesn’t Happen Very Often

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Mentally healthy people don’t hit, push, punch, or throw things at loved ones who could be seriously hurt. Mentally healthy people do not ever have sex with an unwilling partner through force or threat. Mentally healthy people don’t load their kids or their spouse into the car and drive drunk. Mentally healthy people don’t stay in the vicinity of those they love when they cannot...

Do You Want to Catch Your Husband or Wife Cheating?

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There are many websites and blog posts devoted to the signs that a spouse is cheating and all the things you can do to confirm your suspicions. Well before the showers and colognes, the unexplained late nights at work, the secret emails and spare cell phones, there are clues you may find a lot more helpful, because you can do something about them before things get worse. Recovering your marriage...

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Which is Worse? Cheating or Abusing?

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Is one worse than the other? Both happen when we don’t care about our mate or when we are so overwhelmed with emotions we feel entitled to or unable to control our awful actions. Surely, infidelity causes as much emotional pain as emotional abuse does. And because it can lead to deadly diseases or a fiercely angry lover or lover’s mate, it runs the same risk of permanent or fatal...

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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