I am reading an excellent book by Beverly Engel on emotional abuse and what to do about it. But I keep imagining her asking, “You don’t really expect a man or woman who is being emotionally abused to assume love, do you?” I do. In addition to bringing back a lot of the warmth and joy in a lot of marriages, this simple practice can actually protect you against any type of abuse...
A great quote from Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity, in her article After the Storm in the Psychotherapy Networker about which marriages survive and which don’t after she helps them get beyond an act of infidelity. When we seek the gaze of another, it isn’t always our partner we’re turning away from, but the person we ourselves have become. We’re seeking not...
Husbands who cheat — and wives who cheat — cause great harm for selfish reasons. A lot of them have made the news recently, in part because our strong reactions to such news help pull in viewers and readers. Why do we have such strong reactions? Whether we want to see the harm avenged, can’t abide public scrutiny of any private relationship, or don’t believe such a...
Received this request from True Entertainment via the Smart Marriages newsletter today. Infidelity is among the most delicate and difficult experiences a couple faces. Yet, while statistics show that more than 50% of all adults have cheated on their partners, it is still a very isolating experience. True Entertainment, an Emmy Award winning production company who has produced TV documentaries for...
While driving in New Jersey a while back, I listened to a radio talk show about relationships. The topic of the day was whether we have the right to read our spouse’s mail and email and check his or her cell phone text messages and call logs. No matter which answer callers gave, the question itself, and their eagerness to engage it, disturbed me. A better question would be whether we stand...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
