“One of you will always be loving more.”

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Joshua Rogers yesterday shared some excellent advice from Lula Rawls, who has been married for 67 years.
He was seated next to this grandmother of the groom at a wedding rehearsal dinner five years ago and asked for her marriage advice. I love the depth of what she had to say.

“You’ve got to remember that one of you will always be loving more.”

Just in case that didn’t resonate right down to your toes, here’s Joshua’s take on it.

“Seven years into marriage, Lula’s quiet response is still ringing in my ears. It crushes my sense of entitlement, the expectation that marriage owes me a low-grade sense of happiness most of the time. It challenges my internal policy of only extending love when it is extended, withholding love when it is withheld.”

Thank you for that, Joshua. And thank you Lula for your wisdom.

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Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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  • This advice couldn’t be any more true. I’ve heard this before and used to think otherwise, until I actually got married.
    I could never deny how much I love and adore my husband, but it is a known fact that he is the one in the marriage who loves more.
    It’s one of the reasons why I feel as if he was MY gift from God. He was given to me for a reason. And no matter how much my love grows for him, he still seems to always be ahead of me in the love department.

By Patty Newbold

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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