Marriage Tips from a Long-Married Wife

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This is a guest post written for Assume Love by Elizabeth H. Cottrell.
My husband and I are about to celebrate our 39th anniversary. In case you haven’t already covered these “secrets,” I share them now:
Listen to each other — REALLY listen, and confirm that you’ve heard by saying it back, “So, am I understanding that what you mean is…?”
Physical touching every day is so important — a full body hug, a quick hug around the waist, a sneak-up-behind kiss, and an “I love you.”
Don’t assume your spouse can read your mind. He/she can’t and it’s so unfair to think (or act like) they can.
Forget the giving 50/50 to a relationship…be willing to give 150%.
The worst advice I’ve ever heard: “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.” If you hurt your spouse or you did something stupid, you’ve GOT to be willing to say “I’m sorry.” It can diffuse so much anger.
All of this, of course, is in the context of a normal relationship. I realize that pathological or toxic relationships may need a whole different set of rules :-).
Elizabeth H. Cottrell (@RiverwoodWriter) helps committed life-embracers learn to strengthen four essential connections: with Self, with Others, with God, and with Nature. She blogs at http://Heartspoken.com and is on a mission to revive the art of personal note writing! At http://RiverwoodwoodWriter.com, Elizabeth offers writing, editing, self-publishing and online visibility services.

About the author

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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