Finding More Love in the Same Old Marriage

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How much easier to love someone you see infrequently and only for special occasions: dinners, shows, trips to the beach. Gratitude, respect, patience, generosity? You get them all, simply because your partner prepares for the event, expects a good time, and knows this might be his or her last time with you if things do not go well.
Dating has a lot going for it.
Of course, your partner expects the same from you. No off days. No competing interests, or there may never be another get-together.
Dating carries this constant risk. At first, the risk creates excitement, keeps you at the top of your game.
Great fun until you need more than a good time, until you need a strong partner through a financial crisis, comfort through a terrifying illness, a caring provider for your kids. Or until you must choose between being this sort of partner or someone less.
I once thought it would be easier to look for the love I needed by divorcing my husband and dating again. If this thought has crossed your mind, or if you want to make sure it never will, let’s talk about how to find more love in your same old marriage.
For starters, how about getting your way more often, without become self-centered or withholding love? How about bringing gratitude, respect, patience, and generosity back into your marriage? How about growing as a person without growing apart?
Rather than cover these topics in this blog this time, I will do so by telephone, at no charge other than the cost of the call, at 9 pm eastern time on Wednesday, April 28, 2010. This way, I can get your feedback and your questions, which help me write more useful blog posts. To receive the call-in information, just sign up for my free Enjoy Being Married newsletter, which lists all my free teleclasses and how to participate in them.

About the author

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

2 Comments

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  • Its so true what you have to bring to table when trying to get more out if your same everyday marriage, but when you add some spice to it, it can be the best thing in the world!

  • This is really interesting – and kudos for offering the call. Keeping the relationship alive can only be done by nurturing it. Love sometimes seems to get overshadowed by so much “life” stuff – lots of folks need to hear what you have to say. Thanks!
    Darlyn
    fix marriage

By Patty Newbold

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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