Before the wedding, we say we don’t know exactly what to expect from marriage. We lie. It’s not even a year before most utter the words, “If you loved me…” or “If he loved me…” or “Why can’t she…” We know what we expect, and it is a disappointment when it’s not what we get. Picture yourself planning a garden tour. You...
“Divorces are mainly caused by too many expectations from the spouse.” Shabana Azmi, actress, activist, and Member of the Indian Parliament’s upper house (the Rajya Sabha), said this Monday at the opening of a premartial counseling center in India’s capital. Although Azmi spoke of Delhi’s mostly arranged marriages, she could have been talking about marriages in the U...
What’s reasonable to expect from a husband? Or a wife? I had an interesting discussion recently with two single women. I told them I believe one of the keys to a great marriage is to expect only love. Well, of course they both expect love. But only love? Shouldn’t we expect fairness? If one cooks, the other cleans up? Unless there are kids at home to care for, both work? If she does...
Valentine’s Day is a magnificent day to expect love. Especially if you’ve had marriage problems recently, avoid the trap of expecting chocolates or dinner or jewelry or something romantic. Your chances of expecting the right thing are tiny. Your chances of missing out on love when you expect some particular sign of it are great. The best gift you can give your husband on...
The easiest way to feel unloved is to expect the wrong things. You live in a time and place when you can marry for love. You don’t need a helpmeet to survive. You don’t need to bolster your family’s political position or status through marriage. You can choose to marry or not, and you can choose the person you marry.
So what should you expect when you marry for love? Love.
