Not True! Marriage Ends When…


I just read this quote about marriage in the Times of Malta: Marriage does not end with divorce but the moment a couple stops loving and respecting each other, Michael and Juliet Mifsud believe. They are a happily married couple, married for 16 years. They are both Catholics, but they favor a divorce law, the subject of a referendum in Malta yesterday. I do not disagree with the Mifsuds about the...

Congratulations, Tish and Billy Ray Cyrus


Congratulations on your 17+ years of marriage and on your decision, almost six months after filing, to call off your divorce. May you find ways to forgive each other and to find new roles in each other’s lives. Not easy for anyone, surely much harder for those who must live their lives in public. May others on the verge of divorce find courage and inspiration in your decision. And may you...

Go Meet Your Friends for a Beer!


Agi Smith is interviewing folks going through divorce for the Huffington Post. Yesterday’s interview was with a NJ man who now must fly to another state every other weekend to maintain a relationship with his 10-year-old son. He says he absolutely, absolutely needs love in his life but oddly misses nothing about his marriage except what his son has lost. What he claims to like best about...

We Did Not Know Any Better


From a disturbing report on All Things Considered, right before the start of this year’s Smart Marriages Conference: “Many of these parents are children of divorce — born in the early ’80s when divorce rates peaked. Today, these parents say they’d rather raise a child alone or with multiple partners than risk putting that child through a divorce.” I want to...

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Declare Your Independence without Filing for Divorce


Almost all of us feel stuck at times, stuck with responsibilities, routines, and chores, stuck heading in whatever direction we set off in for our lives, stuck living the way we have been living. All of us do. Married folks do, dating folks do, single folks completely on their own do. But when you’re married, it looks for all the world like your spouse is holding up the barricade keeping...

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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