Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs, a book by Emerson Eggerichs, makes an excellent observation. Many a woman feels as if her air has been cut off when she feels unloved by her husband, but a man is more likely to feel this way when he feels he’s lost his wife’s respect. And to make matters worse, women tend to disrespect husbands who...
Many men and women report that they miss the spontaneity of their dating years and even the early years of their marriages. But when they look for an explanation, they often come to the conclusion their spouse has changed or perhaps was faking an interest in spontaneity back then. When they assume love, they can see another possibility.
Vanessa reached her front door as her two preteen kids gathered their beach gear from the backseat of the car. She put the key in the lock. As she turned it, she knew her marriage was over. John hadn’t changed the lock.
Folks often advise us to assume nothing. Take nothing for granted. Keep your mind open. Prepare for every possibility. Don’t be disappointed when things don’t go the way you think they should go. Good advice. Except that life would be darn difficult without any assumptions. We’d need to be constantly on guard against danger if we couldn’t assume what looks like a chair...
The question of the day in Compuserve’s Family Forum was addressed to those who have divorced. It asked whether changing expectations in your marriage led to the divorce. I want to share my reply here. Yes, my changing expectations led to divorce, or darn close to it. When my husband died very unexpectedly just a day after I told him my long list of unmet expectations led me to believe...
