Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and hoping you’ll remember to Assume Love when your husband or wife fails to Join you for caroling (some folks don’t enjoying singing for others) Carve the turkey correctly (unless he’s CEO of Butterball) Try your bread pudding (she really could be full) Give you any presents (Gary Chapman says there are four other Love Languages) Keep your...
I’m reading a history of marriage this week. Over the years, people have married to grow their labor force, to give another clan a reason not to attack them, to hold onto wealth, and many other reasons other than love. Even today in the Indian state my daughter-in-law comes from, love ranks as one of the most inappropriate reasons to marry. But here in the United States, it’s the...
What does it take to get married and stay married if you’re not earning much or can’t find work? More than it does otherwise. The US Government provides a Marriage Calculator to help parents who receive public assistance (and state and federal legislators who determine the rules) determine how much more assistance they and their kids will get if they’re divorced and living apart...
How often do your fears keep you from seeing what’s really going on in your marriage? Fear of debt can turn your husband’s generosity or normal risk-taking into a sign you’re unloved or unsafe. Fear of being alone can force the two of you into activities neither of you has any real enthusiasm for, until you’re both married to low-energy, unenthusiastic people. Fear of...
Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs, a book by Emerson Eggerichs, makes an excellent observation. Many a woman feels as if her air has been cut off when she feels unloved by her husband, but a man is more likely to feel this way when he feels he’s lost his wife’s respect. And to make matters worse, women tend to disrespect husbands who...
