My friend Tammy from Creating Success Stories sent me some questions this week about my advice to Assume Love. I’m going to answer one at a time. What do you suggest for a couple where only one partner is willing to “assume love”? This is the marvelous thing about assuming love — it doesn’t take two. One person can change the marriage. And this approach most benefits...
Last night’s cold rain kept most sane folks at home, but we needed food. Neither of us felt motivated to do it solo, so Ed and I went to the supermarket together. We shopped efficiently. He kept us moving briskly. I made sure we didn’t miss any staples or overlook a buy one get one offer on anything we bought. We each got only half as wet loading the bags into the car and carrying...
Most relationship research, therapy, and coaching focuses on how to give love. It assumes if we give more love, more respect, more kind words, more of our undivided attention, more help, more nurturing, we will receive more in return. For most couples, this is true. However, giving more to get more can feel like work, hence the common wisdom that a good marriage requires hard work. Giving more...
Diane Sollee, author of the marvelous Smart Marriages newsletter, recently asked marriage educators on her mailing list to address a complaint from a husband contemplating divorce. As he put it, “You end up thinking you are marrying a Ferrari and you get a Mini Van.” He’d lost his libido as his thin, sexy wife became an overweight soccer mom, and he wanted out. But first...
You will change your spouse. But you won’t get to choose how.
Allow yourself to be loved by the person you married.
