You know that feeling when you feel so generous to your spouse? When everything you do for your spouse or give to your spouse makes you feel even better about your marriage? And that feeling when you take score and wonder if you would be better off if you two just divorced? For example, when your mate was too tired or busy to mow the lawn but still expects you to prepare dinner? Why not take...
Do your in-laws show up unannounced at all the wrong times? Do they demand to share all of your vacations? When your spouse is not around, do they criticize you or order you around? When your children are around, do they undermine you? It can help to see things through their eyes. A long time ago, a tiny infant was placed in their care. They were charged with keeping this tiny child safe and fed...
Fifteen years ago today, on Valentine’s Day of 2006, I launched this blog to share some thoughts on marriage. I am so proud of the body of work that has followed. To see all of the posts, I hope you will visit the Archives. My very first post, so that I could link to it in the sidebar ever since, was Don’t Pretend Love You Assume Love when you take a second look at what your spouse or...
I received a comment recently on one of my older blog posts: Why should we assume love but not expect our husband to assume respect??? I knew immediately that I had done a bad job of writing that post. I do not recommend anyone Assume Love for the benefit of their spouse, only for their own benefit. When we Assume Love, we stop an unhelpful but instinctual response that’s happening in our...
I had an interesting chat with someone today that led me to think about all the moral differences couples encounter and how they handle them. If you’re in an arranged marriage, there is a good chance your relatives thoroughly checked out your spouse’s morals before you married. And maybe they even knew which ones truly mattered to you. If not, you probably fell in love before you even...
