I’m sure you have heard of Gary Chapman’s Five Love Languages. Lots of us have read the book. Others have learned the languages from magazine articles or workshops. If you and your husband or wife share a Love Language, it’s easy to show your love for each other. For the rest of us, there is a giant pitfall you might want to avoid. If you expect your spouse to use your Love...
A reader recently asked me a question, and I expect she’s not the only one asking. I have been watching couples/friends get into arguments they didn’t want to get into, simply because the discussion began on the wrong foot. Instead of asking an open ended question, e.g., “It seems cleaning up after dinner is a task neither of us wants to do. I wonder how we can solve this...
I really want to bring to your attention Dr. Steven Stosny’s excellent blog post on when emotional abuse is more likely to become physical violence. He opens with this great definition. Emotional abuse is deliberately making partners afraid or feel bad about themselves. It’s usually instrumental, to punish or coerce partners into doing something the abusers want or not doing something...
You know that feeling when you feel so generous to your spouse? When everything you do for your spouse or give to your spouse makes you feel even better about your marriage? And that feeling when you take score and wonder if you would be better off if you two just divorced? For example, when your mate was too tired or busy to mow the lawn but still expects you to prepare dinner? Why not take...
Do your in-laws show up unannounced at all the wrong times? Do they demand to share all of your vacations? When your spouse is not around, do they criticize you or order you around? When your children are around, do they undermine you? It can help to see things through their eyes. A long time ago, a tiny infant was placed in their care. They were charged with keeping this tiny child safe and fed...
