The other day, I was watching a young woman in my neighborhood. She was obviously on inline skates for the first time ever: wobbling badly, wearing a helmet, and displaying that perfect mixture of fear and joy on her face and in the wonderful sounds she was making. Her mate was running beside her, keeping up, providing a supportive hand on her forearm and calling out plenty of coaching tips. And...
Life gets hard. If we’re married, it’s easy to see our spouse as the cause of whatever we are struggling with. Even if the person we married doesn’t cause the problem, their failure to do anything about the problem hurts. So, how do we know when it’s time to throw in the towel? I think one way is to look at all the things spouses do on a spectrum, a color gradient...
I’ve been asked what to look for when choosing a spouse. Which relationship is likely to last longer, one with someone similar to me (same race, culture, language, education, hobbies, lifestyle) or someone different? The answer has a lot to do with Expectations and how well you handle them. The more alike you two are, the more your expectations about marriage will turn out to be valid...
Earlier this week, I read an op ed essay by Kim Brooks in the New York Times that made me ache. I could not stop thinking about it for the last 24 hours. The title claimed you’re in good company if you’re considering a Covid-19 Pandemic divorce, but that was not what the piece was about. It concludes that we’re not meant for nuclear families, and so Kim consoles herself and her...
There were crumbs on the kitchen counter today as I prepared to make my lunch. Even though we no longer live in a place where crumbs lead to insects and rodents, it irked me. Why should I have to work around your crumbs? Why should I need to clean up after you to make my lunch in peace? And that’s when I recalled how I wrecked my first marriage. And I remembered that I shouldn’t have...
