Diane Sollee, author of the marvelous Smart Marriages newsletter, recently asked marriage educators on her mailing list to address a complaint from a husband contemplating divorce. As he put it, “You end up thinking you are marrying a Ferrari and you get a Mini Van.” He’d lost his libido as his thin, sexy wife became an overweight soccer mom, and he wanted out. But first...
Changing Your Husband or Wife
You will change your spouse. But you won’t get to choose how.
Allow yourself to be loved by the person you married.
Merry Christmas
Wishing you a very Merry Christmas and hoping you’ll remember to Assume Love when your husband or wife fails to Join you for caroling (some folks don’t enjoying singing for others) Carve the turkey correctly (unless he’s CEO of Butterball) Try your bread pudding (she really could be full) Give you any presents (Gary Chapman says there are four other Love Languages) Keep your...
The Marriage Calculator
What does it take to get married and stay married if you’re not earning much or can’t find work? More than it does otherwise. The US Government provides a Marriage Calculator to help parents who receive public assistance (and state and federal legislators who determine the rules) determine how much more assistance they and their kids will get if they’re divorced and living apart...
Oh Say Can You See?
How often do your fears keep you from seeing what’s really going on in your marriage? Fear of debt can turn your husband’s generosity or normal risk-taking into a sign you’re unloved or unsafe. Fear of being alone can force the two of you into activities neither of you has any real enthusiasm for, until you’re both married to low-energy, unenthusiastic people. Fear of...