From a disturbing report on All Things Considered, right before the start of this year’s Smart Marriages Conference: “Many of these parents are children of divorce — born in the early ’80s when divorce rates peaked. Today, these parents say they’d rather raise a child alone or with multiple partners than risk putting that child through a divorce.” I want to...
How did you do with yesterday’s challenge to solve a toothpaste cap disagreement? A Third Alternative is a solution to your disagreement that will make both of you feel respected, loved, and in control of what matters to you. You create shared specs for your Third Alternative. They include the outcomes each of you values from your initial alternatives. They protect both of you from anything...
Married couples disagree. The ones who stay married the longest disagree just as much as the ones who divorce. Disagreements become angry battles or festering resentments only when you fall into the trap of thinking a disagreement requires a choice between your two points of view. You start out thinking Option A vs. Option B. If you argue for Option A or Option B, you lose. Jump the net instead...
I love this in Steven Stosny’s recent blog post: "Your best chance of changing your partner’s behavior is to change what he/she reacts to in you. Your partner is likely to respond in kind to your behavior, whether it is loving, compassionate, and supportive or resentful, demanding, and critical. "But regardless of how your partner responds, you will feel more authentic and...
The Discovery Health Channel on cable TV will be showing Enraged this week, which “follows the dramatic and compelling stories of two families close to the breaking point because of a loved one’s explosive anger.” Steven Stosny appears, with a glimpse into his powerful Boot Camp for couples dealing with anger. The schedule: Sunday, May 2 at 10 pm Monday, May 3 at 12 am Tuesday...
