Lots of folks seem convinced the biggest cause of unhappy marriages is poor communication. They may be right, except that they try to solve the problem by saying more or demanding their mate answer their accusations. Say you start off with the wrong assumption. For example, you mistake grumpiness for criticism because, like so many of us, you’re expecting someone who promised to love you...
It’s the thought that counts. The thought can make your marriage happy or miserable. Miserable: Another freakin’ hike through the wildflower preserve, just to keep her in a decent mood. Happy: Feels good to have her hand in mine. I don’t know what she sees in this place, but look at that happy crinkle in her eyes. I think I’ll kiss her every time we pass a black-eyed Susan...
Seth Godin says this morning to his huge tribe of business owners and marketers: “The next time you’re sure someone is angry with you, perhaps it’s worth considering that you might be mistaken.” It is, whether it’s a business contact or a spouse. But how do you tell if you’re mistaken? You start from an assumption about the person and test their behavior...
I love Wray Herbert’s blog, We’re Only Human, and one of his recent posts has me thinking. Citing Claude M. Steele’s research on stereotypes, he writes: “Steele’s unique contribution is taking us inside the mind of the stereotype victim, and it’s not a pretty sight. When we’re unnerved by an unsavory caricature, our minds race; we’re vigilant;...
Tom Papa, “The Marriage Ref” on Jerry Seinfeld’s show by this name, is definitely no marriage educator. He’s a comedian, and a lot funnier than I will ever be. So he’s going to make jokes about marriage issues. And I am going to ask, “How could these people enjoy being married a bit more?” Earlier, I talked about the folks on the teaser episode who argued...
