I Shouldn’t Have To, But I Can

I

There were crumbs on the kitchen counter today as I prepared to make my lunch. Even though we no longer live in a place where crumbs lead to insects and rodents, it irked me.
Why should I have to work around your crumbs? Why should I need to clean up after you to make my lunch in peace?
And that’s when I recalled how I wrecked my first marriage. And I remembered that I shouldn’t have to clean up those crumbs, but I can. And when I do, I spend 3 seconds on the matter instead of ruminating about it for the next 3 hours, until I get to voice my complaint and ruin our evening together, too.
Instead, I’ll get to enjoy whatever way my husband chooses to show his love for me, because he hasn’t been scolded. Not bad for a 3-second investment in our marriage.

About the author

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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  • This is a truth I have learned as well. If it takes me a few minutes now why waste hours thinking about it and ruin my mood and possibly his. Just do it in love and move on. Besides I am definitely sure there are little things his does for me of which I know nothing.

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