A Great Interview on How to Love Like You Don’t Share a Bathroom

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I was recently interviewed by Pace and Kyeli Smith for Pace’s Wild Crazy Meaningful Life podcast series. You can listen to it here: http://pacesmith.com/wcml-051/
They asked some great questions. Here are some of the high points we hit, in the order they come up in the podcast:

  • Assume Love
  • Miller’s Law
  • Pace, why do you put your empty coffee cup next to the sink?
  • Kyeli, how could you have bought me the shampoo that I asked you to get for me?
  • Patty got stuck in the bathtub.
  • You can Assume Love and still take care of your own protection.
  • Look for the Third Alternative.
  • Compromise = “I’m willing to take some pain as long as the person I love the most gets the same amount of pain.”
  • “Expect to be loved, and expect that all the ways you thought you would be loved are wrong.”
  • “Every expectation is a premeditated resentment.”
  • “We don’t trust that we’ve chosen someone wonderful enough that what they will give us is even better than what we expected to receive.”
  • “I love you” vs. “I’m in love with you”
  • This also applies to good friendships and relationships with your children.
  • And to sales: assume your customers want to buy what you’re selling if it will help them.
  • The question to identify a harmful relationship (it’s not “Do I feel unloved”): “Would my partner protect me if anyone else tried to do to me what my partner is doing to me?”

We decided to give this podcast the working title of the book I’m currently writing: Love Like You Don’t Share a Bathroom, because we covered a lot of the topics in the book.
I hope you’ll listen to it — and to some of Pace’s other recent podcasts:
Permission to Rest with Mara Glatzel
Your Insurance Claim Adjustor Is Not Your Friend
Losing Your Way with Gemma Stone
Good stuff!

About the author

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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