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How About a Vacation?

It is so easy to get caught up in all our must-do's and ought-to-do's, but these stresses make it harder to feel loved. And when we don't feel loved, loving a spouse or life partner can feel like work.

When your relationship feels like work, it's time to be imperfect and playful again. Set some time to let some responsibilities go. Cut out some of the stress. Hang up that "Gone fishin'" sign and get back to who you are when you're not struggling.

In other words, it's time for a vacation. Time off from your usual duties. Time off from trying to keep going when you're too tired or too resentful to keep going. Time to shake off the anger and frustrations that keep you from noticing how much you are loved. Time to create a whole bunch of micro-moments of positivity resonance with the person who loves you. And you'll need to shed the frustrations, do things that make you smile to make them.

My husband and I are headed for a Florida vacation next month, to a part of Florida we've never seen yet and some good times with wonderful people. I can't wait.

I would love to read comments about the types of vacations that help you shed stress and reconnect -- or about any vacation problems you and your spouse are dealing with.


Beach vacations are great! Our honeymoon was a week at an all-inclusive resort in Jamaica. We had a fantastic time.

It's great to be able to choose among different options. Our resort vacations have been in places where we could spend a lot of time just relaxing on the beach or by the pool, but where we also had the option to participate in activities like sailing or horseback riding, walking around a picturesque town, maybe taking a tour or visiting the local museum or aquarium.

Getting enough sleep is very important. It automatically makes you feel better about life, and lets you be enthusiastic about participating. Experiencing new places and a variety of activities is a great way to refresh your relationship and feel closer.

Your all-inclusive vacations sound great, Rosemary! And there's research confirming that new places and activities strengthen relationships. Sleep, too. Thanks!

hi Patty. I posted a comment maybe a year ago about how your words "the only road back to love is through love" had become my mantra. I am writing to you again to say that almost two years into this gut wrenching journey I believe that things are turning around. Every time I had to decide what to do, say or not say those words have guided me. I also have to tell you that just when I was about to give up I received a reply from after you found my comment in your spam box. The email you sent to thank me for my comment was the encouragement I needed not to give up. So thank you again for your wonderful blog. I believe my 30 year marriage has been saved.

A, I am tickled pink from my nose to my toes! That is such wonderful news. And how kind of you to share it with me and with all the others who visit this blog.

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Patty Newbold is a widow who got it right the second time...

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