This October, I am once again challenging myself to write blog posts daily. It also serves as a challenge for my marriage: I cannot write when I am upset with my husband or he with me. I need to practice what I preach or no words come out. This makes me wonder about my first marriage, back when I had no idea I could do anything about my unmet expectations or that my first impression of what...
Couples who do things together that both of them enjoy don’t grow apart. Over time, though, the things you each enjoy change. You injure your knee, and suddenly tennis is less fun. The crowd at your favorite dance club changes, and you want to go less often. You’ve taken three Spanish classes together, but you still don’t have the money for your trip to Argentina. Sometimes, it...
I am looking at photos of my grandkids today. I adore them, and they live far away, so I treasure the photographs I receive and our time on Skype video. The photos got me thinking of some of my male friends who fathered children with women they did not marry or women they divorced before the baby’s second birthday. One woman friend, too. She left her child in his father’s custody and...
You and that guy or gal you married need time to laugh and play and have fun, time when you do not talk about work or the kids or whether to replace the clutch or the car. Often, when play is an option, we drag along children or friends. So go twice if you must, but get out and have some fun with your sweetie. Tickle each other’s vagus nerves. Here is some fun scheduled for next weekend: A...
Growing up, our home was peaceful for 11 hours a day, 5 days a week, while Dad was off at work or commuting. The rest of the time, it ranged from tense to bitter to surprisingly enjoyable, almost like those TV families. It was easy to believe Dad was at fault, at least until I was old enough to head into New York City and see Dad during his work day. He was a different person there. Why? Because...
I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.
