Give Your Spouse the Benefit of the Doubt?
The guiding idea behind Assume Love has been described as "give your spouse the benefit of the doubt." Close, but it would be much more accurate to say "give yourself the benefit of the doubt."
I'm not here to turn you into a better spouse. I am here to help you enjoy being married. The benefit I care about is your satisfaction with your marriage and your life.
I don't think either of those will be improved by putting up with anything unpleasant or frightening, so when you Assume Love, be sure you actively check for evidence you are still loved, respected, cherished, and safe and that what initially upset you is a temporary or limited misunderstanding or the result of a simple disagreement you can resolve with a Third Alternative.
This is when you get the benefit of doubting your initial explanation of what happened between you.