I was asked recently about withholding hugs and kisses to encourage a husband to be more loving. I don’t think it works, and I sure don’t think it would be much fun.
Why sculpt the marriage you want by manipulating the person you love? Or by avoiding what makes your marriage enjoyable to you?
What should we withhold?
- That which we will later regret, like knee-jerk responses to words or actions we don’t yet understand. Assume Love so you can see the loving if it’s there before you react.
- Anything we feel resentful about giving, because resentment suffocates love.
- Revenge. Much better to find a Third Alternative to our disagreements. Pain or loss never engenders love or brings us closer together. A Third Alternative does.