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How to Handle Campaign Disagreements

Most of the time when couples disagree, I strongly urge them to Find Third Alternatives. Life together rocks when you both get what you want or better.

Fortunately, though, you get two votes at the end of a political campaign. You both get to cast the vote you want, and which candidate wins probably will not depend on how your household votes.

Best advice for handling campaign disagreements? Don't talk about the campaign! Allow your mate his or her totally wrong-headed take on the issues or the candidates. Make no attempt to correct it nor to justify your vote.

People don't stay close, caring, respectful, trusting, and in love by accident. Change the subject.


Hi Patty,
My house is different. When we married, my husband was a Republican and I was a Democrat. One of us switched and I won't say whom. Here's the thing: We didn't follow your advice. We really talked a lot over the years about the issues. We agreed that neither group was ideal because all human beings are, well, human, so they don't always act their best. Sometimes our conversations were frustrating BUT when you are married for a long time (35 years in our case) these are the sorts of conversations that keep the marriage fresh. They keep you from thinking you really know one another. They help each person grow.

Thanks, Dr. Deb. You started from an agreement and explored from there. Sounds like a model all of us can follow.

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Patty Newbold is a widow who got it right the second time...

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