It happens a lot. We reach a point in our marriage where there seems to be no time for each other. So much to do! Kids. Work. Schooling. Email. Favorite TV shows or sports teams. Cooking. Taxes. Shopping.
All of a sudden, it’s just too much. We want to talk. Go out to a quiet dinner together. Get some sympathy. Make time for skiing or photography or whatever it was we did together before all this happened.
There are two approaches to getting our husband’s or wife’s attention when we reach this point.
This one does not work:
- We need to have a talk.
- We never DO anything together any more!
- You don’t ever make any time for me.
- Your stupid computer games are more important to you than I am, aren’t they?
This approach is a lot more likely to help:
- If I hire a sitter, are you free for dinner out on Thursday?
- Can you get away the weekend after next? I would like to go skiing, and I would love it if you would join me.
- Know how I said I would be leaving dinner in the crock pot tonight while I attended the networking meeting? Instead, I really need a shoulder to cry on. Can you please bring yours home, and I’ll order in some pizza?
- All I can think about today is how sexy you are. Can’t wait to see you tonight. You have my full attention! What would you like to do with it?
Mixing the two is worse than sticking with the first one, so be sure you can take no for an answer and still come back with another great proposal soon. It’s not inviting if your spouse gets an earful for declining.