Why Be Married? For Another Pair of Eyes

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One of my greatest pleasures in life comes from finding solutions by looking at problems from odd angles. Sometimes, though, I get stuck. This is when I find the fact that my husband and I see so many things so differently a real blessing. Whenever I need, I can borrow his eyes.
Doing so usually entails a sharp stab of pain as I realize how wrong my starting perspective looks to him. I feel so alone then, even in this most intimate exchange. I take a few deep breaths and let him show me how things looks to him—usually as completely foreign to me as the Jet Car Meltdown I once attended with a friend who actually found them enjoyable.
And then I see what my husband sees. My ocean-sized challenge looks like a puddle from his vantage point. I can hop right over it from there.
My husband and I disagree a lot, much more than in my first marriage. We see almost everything differently. It is truly a blessing, a source of great strength and occasional deep pleasure. I am so glad to be married.

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Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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By Patty Newbold

Patty Newbold

I am a widow who got it right the second time. I have been sharing here since February 14, 2006 what I learned from that experience and from positive psychology, marriage research, and my training as a marriage educator.

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