Does your wife caution you to slow down, pass that car, take a different route, keep up with traffic, stop riding that bumper? Does she wince, grab the dashboard, brace her feet, check the side mirror?
And does it make you wonder why in the world she agreed to marry someone she trusts so little? Does it make you feel like a kid with a learner’s permit again? Especially if you have been driving accident free for years?
Assume Love. If you are loved and respected as much as ever by this woman—and you probably are—what would lead her to behave like this? If she does not do it out of distrust, what other reasons are there?
- Anxiety – With nothing to do but watch the road, she has plenty of time to imagine the worst happening. Withdrawing or getting angry will increase her anxiety. Try some tender distraction. You might even add occasional reminders that her safety is very important to you.
- Misunderstanding – Men are far more attuned to distrust or lack of respect than woman are, thanks to our hormones. Let her know this affects you and ask her to speak up only when there is imminent danger. And try to keep in mind that her biochemistry leaves her highly attuned to any lack of affection.
- Habit – If she is raising or teaching children, she may just be in the habit of critiquing. To break the habit, respond as an adult—a loving, kind, patient man.
Looking at a problem through your spouse’s eyes gives you the power to change the situation and the compassion to strengthen your relationship as you do.